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Depression Has Its Cost

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2009, 1:45 AM

Jean Abel Wilson
Ma Vie, Ma Lumière, Mon Amour... Mon Ange gardien...
June 3rd, 1990 - April 12th, 2009

Pictures of you... Pictures of me... Remind us all of what we used to be....

So yeah... hi... this is Harley, I'm Jay's former cousin (this is a story for another time). However, Jay... had entered a bout of depression... and let's just say that she's going to be out... for a good long while. I'm going to be taking up slack for her - though this most likely means that I'm not going to making her in-character posts to things (in the RP part of what she's got going on). I'm also going to be apologizing to those that have requests and drawings that they asked of her since she cannot be getting to them (I would do them if I had an ounce of artistic ability she did). She's in a pretty serious condition and probably has to be taken to the hospital some time because of what she did.

There's a note here that asks for people not to worry too much about her. So... I guess... please respect her wishes? I dunno... I'm keeping an eye on Jay for the remainder of the time that I'll be here with her - which is probably going to be for a while. I'm not quite sure what spiked her intention to be attempting an OD... but she did it.

Not sure when she'll be fine enough to be back... and if anyone wants to contact me so they know how she's doing, my MSN is harleythestarly@live.com

=Harley

Join it~ You know you want to.

4 Comments

Mood: Worried
Listening to: "Engines" by Snow Patrol
Watching: Jay sleep
Playing: Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkn

A Journal of Thoughts...

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 12, 2009, 3:31 PM

Jean Abel Wilson
Ma Vie, Ma Lumière, Mon Amour... Mon Ange gardien...
June 3rd, 1990 - April 12th, 2009

Go through the days without a worry in the world.
Everything is so colourful here through your eyes.
Must be nice to not have to come to extremes.
That's a thing that I've slowly started to envy.
Though you're not someone I wish to be.

Jaded to be making a carbon copy such as you...
You're proof that little girl of the old dream county exists.
It's just sad that I can't even really come to hating you.
Though you're just a fake, a copy, a dream of what I want.
Even when you are, I still don't get what I created you for.
I'm left to sit and wonder; is it best to let you die?

I've always had a liking to making characters such as yourself.
But out of all of the ones I've made, you're like a bad itch.
A bad itch that I just can't come to be scratching to get rid of.
You're like so many before... so much so, it's not even funny.
Yet you're the one of the ones that I've taken a great liking to. Why?

Jerk, it's always the first word that comes to mine when I think of you.
That, and what your name can come to being with your being so keen.
Though you're dispicable, it's your drive and the fact that you have a goal.
It's only those things that makes me appreciate the character you are.

Join it~ You know you want to.

No Comments

Mood: Unhappy
Listening to: Alive Again by Mariana's Trench
Drinking: Water

I Think I've Decided

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 3, 2009, 11:12 PM

Jean Abel Wilson
Ma Vie, Ma Lumière, Mon Amour... Mon Ange gardien...
June 3rd, 1990 - April 12th, 2009

Okay... so here's something I usually... never... talk about. However, I've been having pain in my hips, knees and left shoulder for quite some time now. It's only really been getting worse, and I've been dealing with it since last year's August. It's been diagnosed as Osteonecrosis, or in other words, my bone material is getting eaten away thanks to shitty medications (A.K.A. decadron) that I was prescribed.

So... what it's looking like is avascular necrosis:

_{If you have osteonecrosis of the hip, the blood vessels gradually cut off nourishment to the top of the thighbone (head of the femur) where it fits in the hip socket. Without blood, the head of your femur dies and collapses. This can make it painful to move your hip, and you may develop arthritis and a limp.

Cartilage in the hip's socket may also break down. It often happens that if there is osteonecrosis in one hip, it will be seen in the other hip.}

Osteonecrosis of the knee[s]:

_{The exact cause of the osteonecrosis of the knee is not yet known. One theory is that a stress fracture, combined with a specific activity or trauma, results in an altered blood supply to the bone. Another theory supposes that a build-up of fluid within the bone puts pressure on blood vessels and diminishes circulation.

Osteonecrosis of the knee is also associated with certain conditions and treatments, such as obesity, sickle cell anemia, lupus, kidney transplants, and steroid therapy. Steroid-induced osteonecrosis frequently affects multiple joints and is usually seen in young patients.

Regardless of the cause, if the disease is not identified and treated early, it can develop into severe osteoarthritis.}

... and osteonecrosis of the shoulder:

_{Osteonecrosis of the shoulder has an even more variable natural history than the knee. The area of the involvement of the humeral head (shoulder) is that area of the head which is in contact with the socket when the elbow is held at about 40° of flexion and 20° away from the body. It is possible to effectively use one's hands with the elbows held at the side, and therefore avoid contact of the humeral head with the socket in the area to involvement with osteonecrosis. Therefore unless the lesion is very large, or collapse is extensive, most patients will benefit from core decompression. Although shoulder replacement is done, the success rate is not as great as for the hip and knee, and the results may not be as long-lasting. Therefore if a conservative procedure like core decompression can grant the patient relief of symptoms and delay the need for shoulder replacement, that conservative procedure is justified. We have had good results from core decompression even in those patients with early collapse. This is not the case with early collapse of the hip, for which core decompression should not be done except in unusual cases.}

I've... perhaps been spending too much time thinking about this and the fact that my doctors said that this was reversible. Though that is the case... I've been living with this pain for far too long in my opinion, and I'm quite sick and fucking tired of it. I hate having to hobble to the kitchen or bathroom when the time calls for it. I hate the fact that it's one hell of a shitty experience going up and down stairs because my condition, as it stands, makes me want to fall over screaming in agony and frustration.

... I'm tired of it all. I said that I wasn't going to get help with this... I said that I'd find away through this... but it seems that I'm a tad too late for that. After three years, I'll finally be able to go out and actually do what I used to love to do. Life decides it's going to be a shit with all the fucking downs it's thrown my way? Hah! I'll spit in its fucking face and tell it I'm not backing down. You can give me cancer, you can take away some of my mobility, you can take away the love of my life (which I will never forgive you for)... But you will not take away my pride. You will not take away my independence... and as long as I'm living and breathing... I'm going to pound you into the ground with all that I've got.

Join it~ You know you want to.

5 Comments

Mood: Outraged
Listening to: Can I Take You Home? by Breathe Carolina
Drinking: Water

Short RP Meme

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 2, 2009, 9:10 PM

Jean Abel Wilson
Ma Vie, Ma Lumière, Mon Amour... Mon Ange gardien...
June 3rd, 1990 - April 12th, 2009

Stolen from

Rp Meme by

Years roleplaying: About seven, almost eight years.

Least favorite character?: Hmm... haha... that's tough, considering a love a majority of my characters... However... I would say Jissul... just because he's a dick and likes raping my female characters >:

Male or female characters?: I like both, however, my females outnumber my males.

Longest character played?: Hah, Dixie, hands down. She's my baby. I've had her since grade three.

Newest character?: Jaydinm -- she's more or less of a PokéSelf avatar for me. Though... she's not completely like me in the fact that she mains a Gengar, whereas I main a Houndoom.

Which character of yours would be most likely to...

Jump off a bridge?: *whistles* Hah... damn... you have Azrea... she would do it if she were desperately trying to get away from someone.

Get drunk and pass out?: Seriously? XD Chad... there's just... yeah, Chad.

Kill somebody in a very unorthodox way?: Marie owo;; She's an android that's specifically made to eliminate zombies. However and whatever ways she can be doing so, she will.

Be far too hyper for their own good?: Alice .D.;; She's always in a competition against Dixie as to who can be the most colourful. Dixie doesn't even care >_>

Be raped?: ... *coughs* Dixie. ... If she doesn't give them a good left hook first. She's already almost been raped three times in the past month .-.

Get lost and refuse to ask for directions?: Jaydin XD Then again, she has Tré

as to help her out.

Get lung cancer?: Hrm... Uh... Harlem... he's been smoking since he was a teenager... sooooo... .D.;;

Star in a horror movie?: ... Alastair... with her being... her... I just... don't... doubt it....

Star in a video game?: Hm... that's tough... though if I were to pick five of my >300 characters, I would say [H]Ikari, MAE-HYM, Catheris, Shiay, and Artemis.

Make the world a better place?: Jeeze... uh... Aera would try... as would Kirata. Ren is up on that list... hm... I have a lot of characters that would make the world a better place... maybe I should have them all meet each other and formulate something.

Have a torrid gay love affair?: Hahahahahahahahahaha, oh GOD. XDDD I want to say Taurus [Teddy] Higgins and Cancer [Frank] Adet from the Zephyrs. They need to come out of the closet, first 8D;;

Relate each word to a character of yours:
Love - Kirata Illusend
Hate - Dyrdak Myssial
Money - Renei Motakaru
Seduction - Dixie Tucker
Lies - Kryssik Déa'il
Tragedy - Azrea Agretti
Manipulation - Crystal Nolan
Violence - Flute
Politics - Arcanei
Fire - Shiay Eihalzan
Ice - Kal'mian Sheandin

Would you ever...
Play a prostitute?: ... I don't know whether or not to be considering Dixie one at this point and time, honestly.
Play a musician?: Pyuuri is one.
Play a pilot?: Hahaha... Azrea is like an all in one girl when it comes to something that requires technical skills.
Play a homosexual?: *looks to Taurus and Cancer*
Play a pedophile?: Ha... haha... ha... hahahaha... haaaaa .D.;; Hello Alastair....
Play a politician?: Not exactly... though... I suppose Honoka is a good one....
Create a muse for the sole purpose of smut?: *coughs* ... Treaya .D.;;
Play a character who commits incest?: Eeuuuugh, that's gone too far .D.;;

Join it~ You know you want to.

2 Comments

Mood: Lazy
Listening to: Double Je by Christophe Willem
Eating: Konpeito
Drinking: Water

CONTEST! And the winners aaaarrrreeeeeee...

Journal Entry: Sun Oct 11, 2009, 4:20 PM

Jean Abel Wilson
Ma Vie, Ma Lumière, Mon Amour... Mon Ange gardien...
June 3rd, 1990 - April 12th, 2009

Alright... so the contest had come to a close, and it's time for me to announce the winners of this contest. I actually had quite some trouble choosing for this one and I was pretty glad that I could have the help of some really great friends: *The-kat, ~thegodbrother and my friend Matchbox (I'm only calling him that because that's his handle on other sites ;__; He doesn't have a dA).

And the winners of the contest are:

First Place:

*The-kat said: Mistiousstar's entry is visually very interesting. I like that she kept to her own style, and this image is very cute. Though the characters seems a little OOC (That could just be me not knowing them well though)

~thegodbrother said: Very smooth, loving the shirt colors.

Matchbox said: I preferred Mistiousstar's 'Valeara Couple' to 'Moment to Remember', but the colors are really, really good on both, but there is more detail on the Valeara Couple that I love.

=GriffSGirl said: I'm really liking the shading on this and how affectionate it seems. I find that the doodles on the pavement is really cute, not to mention the rather playful look that Aera is sporting. I do, however, agree with *The-kat on the slight OOC factor, but that doesn't mean that it's still not cute. And there's still all the detail and stuff that has to be accounted for.

Second Place:

*The-kat said: Kamiforx's entry honestly looks like she put a ton of effort into it. While her skills aren't at the top with every one, I think her effort shows in the image. And while it may not be perfect, I think she kept the characters pretty in character.

~thegodbrother said: I like the sky and shadows, very lighthearted and fuzzy... Good fuzzy, I mean.

Matchbox said: I like the sky & clouds etc on Jaxxie too and it is a cute picture with a nice mood.

=GriffSGirl said: I quite liked how in character that it was in, despite the rather risque scene that the two are placed upon. I'm going to have go with what my friends have said and say that yes, this is a very lighthearted mood that it's giving and I grin when I look at it, really.

Third Place:

*The-kat said: Kordi's entry is well drawn, and I think it expresses the characters personalities very well, compared to many of the otehr entries (Again, based on my vague knowledge of them xP) However, I wish it had a background ;o;

~thegodbrother said: The blushing is rather distinct, and Dixie's smile is just too irresistible.

Matchbox said: I love the attention to detail on Smiiile, especially on things like Jaxx's trousers. Plus, the toning is good and their facial expressions suit too. 8D

=GriffSGirl said: I'm really loving how bashful Jaxx is to whatever Dixie has said or is doing (did) to make him be like that. I also really enjoy the tones and how ~Kordi was able to get the types of textures on the clothing. It makes it really enjoyable to look at. Though I would have also really liked a background -- it's still great, though!

So... with all of that out of the way.... I would just like to thank anyone and everyone that entered. The entries were really lovely and it was really hard for myself and my friends that I asked to help me, choose. So good job on making it difficult for us with the drawings that you entered. I think I changed the winners four different times. Anyone and everyone, please check out the people that entered the contest and give them plenty of love ^^

By:

Prizes

Hm... so for this time around, this is what the line-up is looking like:

1st Place

Tsubasa, the complete first season box-set.

2nd Place

Fruits Basket, the complete box set.

3rd Place

Moon Phase, the complete box set.

Join it~ You know you want to.

6 Comments

Mood: Euphoric
Listening to: Play Dead by The Rasmus
Playing: Pokémon HeartGold
Drinking: Water

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Tue Nov 3, 2009, 6:23 AM
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